Stop Living To Work
This lesson took me a long time to learn. As a teacher, you feel the constant pressure of TIME. Time is your number one enemy. There is never enough time. Time to grade assignments, plan lessons, make copies, attend meetings, call parents, document student behavior, put in grades, print out grades, and discuss grades with students. Oh, and then there is more time when the official school day ends for car line duty, tutoring, coaching, clubs, and more meetings…The list is endless.
What I’ve discovered about “great” teachers is that they all have a deep-rooted desire to “do it all” and do it with excellence. The “great ones” get to school at 6 in the morning and leave after 5 in the evening. After they arrive home, the work doesn’t stop. There is always more to do. Most “great teachers” work another 1-2 hours after they get home.
Since I was in the 4th grade I wanted to be a teacher. I would pretend to be a teacher with my siblings growing up. I practiced it, I thought about it, I dreamed about it, and looked forward to the day I could be a “great teacher.” But what I learned I learned about being a “great teacher” meant I was “living to work,” and just merely existing in many other areas of my life. I was devoting the majority of my free time and energy to being the teacher I always dreamed I would be.
It wasn’t until my son was 3 years old that I got a wake-up call about living to work. He asked me to play with him one evening and I told him “in a minute” because I was busy grading papers. I had all intentions of playing with him as soon as I finished my last batch. But after I finished, I realized my son had fallen asleep, and I never stopped to play. The next day, I happened to watch the Oprah Winfrey Show about a woman who lost all 4 of her children to murder. The episode taught me how “time” is a precious entity we have with our children. However the aha moment for me was realizing that I wasn’t valuing precious time with my own child, because I was so preoccupied with being a “great teacher” for 130 other children. I knew in that moment I had to stop living for work.
I had to ensure I was a “great mother” before I was a “great teacher.”
I had to start living more for my own son, than I did for the 130 students in my class.
I had to reevaluate my priorities and my time and search for alignment in the two.
I realized my feelings of guilt would probably shift as I reevaluated my values, time, and actions. There was certainly guilt, but over time I learned many lessons in how to stop living for work and start living for me.
I learned to stop taking work home. What didn’t get accomplished at school, would have to wait until tomorrow. I learned to stop grading EVERY single assignment students turned in. I learned how to say no. I learned how to shut my door when I needed a few minutes alone to be productive without interruptions. I learned how to take a day off work, without feeling guilty.
These are just a few of my own personal lessons, but recently I read a wonderful book called The Balanced Teacher Path, by Justin Ashley. If I were a principal, this would be a required book study for my entire staff. Justin details his journey from North Carolina Teacher of the Year to rehab and his recovery to find balance in his life. The practical advice and lessons in this book can be life-saving to a teacher and a school.
One of my favorite lessons from the book is the importance of “Family Field Trips.” In this chapter, he talks about the commitment to a consistent excursion to develop quality family time and memories. I’ve taken this advice to heart and recently made lasting memories in the Great Smoky Mountains, pumpkin patches, water parks, Disney World, walking trails, the museum of history, and in Washington D.C. He taught me that we don’t have to go far, but we need to take time to break free from our routines and create memories for our families. I have now committed the weekends for fun, play, traveling, rest, and for living in the moment TOGETHER.
If you’re feeling out of balance in your career right now I encourage you to read this book. If you bought home papers to grade or lessons to plan today, but them back in your bag. Take time today for you… Go exercise. Take a nap. Play a game. Call a friend. Eat ice cream. Watch a movie. Go simply do what makes you happy. Stop living for work and start living for you!
