Why You Need Honey In Your Classroom

 

Growing up, my dad had lots of sayings.  But there is always one I never quite understood until I became a teacher.

He would often say…. “You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”

As a child, I would ponder this saying and try to figure out what he was talking about. As I grew older, I understood it a little more.  I remember one day, as a teenager, pouring a cup of honey and a cup of vinegar and watching which cup attracted the most flies.

However, I never understood the true meaning of this saying, until I became a teacher.  What my dad was trying to teach me had nothing to do with flies, honey, or vinegar. He was teaching me about character.  The type of character I would need to be a great teacher. Great teachers understand this principle of kindness.

Any teacher understands there will be days when you face unkind people. Not every student, colleague, parent, or administrator will be nice to you.  You can be the “Teacher of the Year,” and you will still encounter unpleasant people. The secret is to show them kindness in return, even when they may not deserve it.

It’s easy for most people to be kind to others when they are kind to us.

It is hard, to be kind to unkind people.

It is natural that we want to retaliate when people are mean.  But as a teacher, we must learn to take the high ground.  This did not happen early in my teaching career. I engaged in battles with students and a few parents I should have never entertained. I internalized mean things students and parents did and as a result, used lots of vinegar during those first few years. These are not my proudest moments, but they helped me grow and learn that vinegar doesn’t work.

Over the course of my teaching career, this old adage made perfect sense as I began to apply it to all students.  As educators, we must understand that we will encounter many hurting students and adults. People who are hurting are not actually mad at you, but they may take their anger out on you.  Students will come to school mad at their parents, mad at the bus driver, mad at the world and walk into your classroom and take it out on you.  You were not aware they had an argument with their mother that morning. You didn’t know their girlfriend just broke up with them. Their issue often has nothing to do with you, but you get to be the lucky one to experience their anger.

The key here is to respond with honey.

When students are rude, disrespectful or break the rules, they still need to be held accountable. But we can give students consequences with honey. We don’t have to yell, give harsh punishments, or fight battles in anger.   We can discipline students and show them that we still love them. We can love them even when they make mistakes.

If we are going to help children who are hurting, we must learn the principle of being kind to others even when they are not kind to us.  We must understand that the kids who need the most love and kindness shown to them, will ask for it in the most unloving ways.

Yes, there will still be moments when you will be frustrated or angry.   But don’t let others attitudes, negativity, or anger, impact your response. You can still respond with kindness.

So the next time you are offended, take a deep breath and ask yourself……

• What will you use to respond to an angry student? Honey or Vinegar
• What are you using for classroom management? Honey or Vinegar
• What are you taking to the staff meeting? Honey or Vinegar
• What will you bring to the conversation with a parent? Honey or Vinegar
• What are sprinkling in the hallway or cafeteria when you’re on duty? Honey or Vinegar

Try carrying honey everywhere you go this week and watch how many students you just might catch.