Are We Over-Rewarding Our Kids?

What motivates you? Maybe it’s money, your desire to make a difference, your kids, or a fear of failure.

We all have our own motivations in life, and our students are no different.

Most students aren’t naturally motivated to obey the rules or care about lessons. That’s why teachers use rewards and punishments to control their behavior.

Rewards and Punishments

Classroom Management 101 says to punish bad behavior to discourage it and to reward good behavior to encourage it. Students who don’t follow school rules get punished, while students who do exactly as they’re told get rewarded.

So let me ask you this: How’s that working out for you?

Are the same students always at the PBIS and quarterly honor roll celebrations? Do you hear those students’ names in the announcements for “Student of the Week”?

And would those students still have behaved well without the promise of a reward?

The first problem with offering too many rewards is that they only work for a percentage of all students. The second problem is that the students who get rewarded often lose interest in the love of learning and showing kindness, instead focusing their attention solely on the reward itself.

I remember a couple of years ago when my son came home from school and could finally read his first book. He was so proud that he wanted to read it to me. After we read the book, I told him I was so proud of him, and I gave him a piece of candy as a reward. I wanted to celebrate his happiness and enthusiasm for reading.

The next day, my son came home with another book, excited to read to me again. As soon as we finished the book, before I could even say anything, he asked me for something. What do you think it was?

The candy!

Instead of focusing on the value of reading, I had accidentally taught him to expect a reward for every book he could finish.

The More Rewards We Give, The More Rewards We Need

That was my “aha” moment. I thought about the consequences of what I had done. By giving my son a reward, I was setting him up to be motivated for the wrong reasons. I was also conditioning him to expect more rewards in the long run. If I kept this up, my child would expect a piece of candy for every book he read, and one day even more than that.

As a teacher and parent, I’ve learned that the more rewards we give, the more rewards we need. If we start rewarding students for doing things they should already be doing, we have to keep giving them rewards over the long term. Eventually, candy and stickers become the norm and start to lose their short-term effects.

Many students aren’t concerned about learning out of curiosity. Instead, they’ve been conditioned to work for immediate rewards like grades and honor roll.

Students are no longer sharing, being kind, and doing good deeds for the sake of personal fulfillment. They now expect “paw points”, pizza parties, or acknowledgment as the “Student of the Week” for doing what they should already be doing.

This isn’t preparing them for the real world.

Preparing Our Students for a Harsh Reality

After our students graduate, no one is going to throw them a party for being a good citizen. They will simply be expected to act like responsible adults.

You don’t get rewards for putting your cart back where it belongs at the grocery store, for being kind to a neighbor, or for keeping your house clean. As long as we keep using rewards to motivate students, we are preparing them for a world that doesn’t exist.

We need to teach students that in the real world, you do something simply because it’s the right thing to do. We must show them the importance of how their actions affect others and teach them to want to make a positive impact on their peers.

Is it easier to give out stickers? Of course.

But rewarding a child is just a quick fix. Without rewards, we have to get through to them with a great deal of talking. It takes time, reflection, and hard work. It won’t always be easy, and we won’t always see immediate results, but it’s worth the effort to raise good citizens who behave well for the right reasons.

Reward-Free Challenge

I challenge all teachers, myself included, to reflect on our use of rewards. Of course we want to show our students love and appreciation when they work hard and show improvement. But we must consider why we offer rewards and how often we use them.

If we are only rewarding students to control their behavior and academic performance, then we will only see short-term and even counterproductive effects on their learning and behavior.

We need to question the long-term effects of rewards. Do they work for all students? What do they accomplish? When are they most effective?

Instead of offering rewards, try other ways to motivate your students. Offer praise and appreciation to students who show improvement, perform acts of kindness, or demonstrate mastery of a subject. Encourage students to reflect on how their actions affect others, and show them how proud you are when they make the right choices.

You may be surprised to find that your love is much more valuable than a sticker.

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