What Would You Do If It Were You?

In our society today, it’s hard to watch the news or look at social media without experiencing controversy and divisiveness.

I remember, in high school and college, I was always quick to offer my opinions and judgments of people who didn’t share my same views. As I began my teaching career, I learned how to listen more to others because I refrained from sharing my values and beliefs with my students. I never wanted my views to influence them or prohibit them from being outspoken. This taught me how to become a better listener, but I still struggled with refraining from judging others who didn’t share my same beliefs. That was until a brave student taught me a valuable life lesson to be more understanding and less judgmental of others.

I remember this experience like it was yesterday. My students were studying immigration. We compared immigration trends throughout history to today. I allowed students to understand multiple perspectives on the debates on immigration throughout history. I also encouraged students to talk with their family and community members about the issue. After studying the topic and interviewing family members, we held a Socratic seminar on how the United States should handle immigration in our society today. My students’ perspectives on the issue ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other. It was an excellent opportunity for students to understand a variety of viewpoints on one topic that has affected our country since its foundation.

The day after our class discussion, I found a six-page later on my desk. It was from the sweetest, quietest girl in my class. She always did her work. She always complied with whatever I asked, and she made fast friends with everyone.

The first sentence read…”Ms. Knox, I am an illegal immigrant, please don’t tell anyone.”

My first reaction was one of shock. As a teacher, I was never privy to know if students are legal citizens. It’s not something you questioned.

I then read this child’s heart-wrenching story of her journey to the United States. Her letter gave me background of her life in Honduras. She explained the hardships of having no transportation and having to walk everywhere she went. She told how she had to find her food, and she never knew where her next meal would come from. She recounted fearing for her life because of gang violence walking to and from school each day. I could not fathom her life experiences as I was reading her letter.

As tears ran down my face, I continued to read her story. She stated how she lived with a lady in California who her mother paid to bring her into the United States. Her mother made this decision because she wanted a better life for her daughter. She thought the lady was the hope her children needed for a better future. America was the only hope she had for her children, even if it meant she would never see them again. However, this lady abused and nearly starved her to death. At one point during the journey, she became separated from her sister and didn’t know if she was still alive.

This child traveled from California to NC to live with another family and still remained separated from much of her family. As I neared the end of the letter this quiet, sweet little girl asked me a question that would forever make me think of the way I judged other people and situations. She asked simply … “What would you do if it were you?”

I thought about my family and how close I am to each of them. I can drive an hour or pick up the phone and be in my family’s presence or hear their voice. I’ve never experienced hunger pains, separation from family, or feared for my safety. I’ve never lived with strangers, experienced abuse, or understood how it feels to send a child away for the opportunity of a better life.

Sometimes children are the best teachers. This one student taught me lifelong lessons in this letter that ended with a simple question.

I learned…

• To never assume I know someone’s story. Opinions are usually formed because of our own lived experiences.
• To listen more and ask questions for understanding.
• To always reflect an ask “What would you do if it were you?”

Teachers, I hope you will apply this same lesson for students in your classroom. Our students are still figuring out who they are and their values and beliefs. Create spaces in your classroom where you can get to know your students and their stories. Engage in activities and assignments that enable students to develop a deeper understanding of their peers. The more we create spaces for dialogue, sharing, and understanding the more we will realize we are all more alike than we are different. It is in this way that we can seek to understand the lived experiences of others, which shaped and molded them into who they are. It is also an opportunity for us to all stop, press pause, and ask ourselves…

What you would you do if it were you?