Why You Should Treat Your Students Like Your Bank Account

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Have you checked your bank account or balanced your checkbook today?

If you’re like me, you probably check it daily. I always need to ensure I have enough money to cover all my bills and expenses. I check that my account is never in the negative so I always have enough funds to cover my withdrawals. In order to do this, I make sure I deposit more than I withdraw.

Just as we constantly check our bank accounts, we need to check our students’ accounts often. Their lives resemble bank accounts: we should make deposits in their lives before we ever attempt to make a withdrawal.

They need security, and when a deficit threatens that security, they panic.

As a teacher, I had to learn to communicate unconditional love to all students. They need love even when they make mistakes, fail to complete their work, or make us angry.

I learned over the years that I needed to make twice as many deposits as withdrawals. Scolding students for not doing their homework or for disrupting class would only have done more damage if I hadn’t made deposits in their lives. By making deposits, I could draw from my surplus in their accounts when it came time to discipline them.

We hope parents and family members partner with us to make deposits and keep our students’ accounts in the black. However, so many students come to us with their accounts depleted. They don’t get consistent deposits of affirmation, love, and care at home, so they come to school seeking to refill their accounts.

As teachers, we should learn to recognize the signs of overdrawn accounts in our students: depression, resistance to small things, acts of revenge against others, and bad behavior to get attention. Students will act out to try to fill their accounts back up.

For one whole day, I encourage you to ask yourself, “Am I making more deposits or withdrawals?” Just as with our bank accounts, we know that withdrawals are easier than deposits. It’s easy to spend money only to quickly find ourselves in the negative. Don’t let that happen to your students.

If we overdraw our accounts, we must pay a fine. If we overdraw from a student’s emotional account, we may find there is a bigger price to pay. Find ways to make deposits daily so when you do make withdrawals, students are not left empty.

Over time, I realized deposits are not the same for each child. Students’ accounts fill up in different ways. You must listen and understand what is important to each of them. Some students will need you to go to their basketball game, give a compliment on their work, or make a positive phone call, while others may only need a hug or a high five. Every student is different and you will have to figure out how to make meaningful deposits in each of their lives.

It’s also important that students make deposits into each other’s accounts. I urge you to observe your classroom and acknowledge when students uplift and encourage each other. How often do you encourage students to lift each other up? Do you make time in your classroom for positive affirmations?

If you need help creating this classroom culture, I recommend you read the book Have You Filled A Bucket Today? This book will encourage positive behavior and acts of kindness to help students make deposits in each other’s accounts. The book refers to account deposits as “bucket filling” and account withdrawals as “bucket dipping” to help students understand the impact of their words and actions on others’ lives. There is also a Bucket Fillers website with free resources and activities that teachers can use to practice “bucket filling” with students.

Remember that with children, seemingly little things are actually big things. Don’t take a high five, a smile, a piece of candy, or five minutes of extra recess time for granted. They are all small acts of kindness that will make big deposits over time in our children’s lives.

 

Why You Need Honey In Your Classroom

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Growing up, my dad had lots of sayings.  But there is always one I never quite understood until I became a teacher.

He would often say…. “You get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”

As a child, I would ponder this saying and try to figure out what he was talking about. As I grew older, I understood it a little more.  I remember one day, as a teenager, pouring a cup of honey and a cup of vinegar and watching which cup attracted the most flies.

However, I never understood the true meaning of this saying, until I became a teacher.  What my dad was trying to teach me had nothing to do with flies, honey, or vinegar. He was teaching me about character.  The type of character I would need to be a great teacher. Great teachers understand this principle of kindness.

Any teacher understands there will be days when you face unkind people. Not every student, colleague, parent, or administrator will be nice to you.  You can be the “Teacher of the Year,” and you will still encounter unpleasant people. The secret is to show them kindness in return, even when they may not deserve it.

It’s easy for most people to be kind to others when they are kind to us.

It is hard, to be kind to unkind people.

It is natural that we want to retaliate when people are mean.  But as a teacher, we must learn to take the high ground.  This did not happen early in my teaching career. I engaged in battles with students and a few parents I should have never entertained. I internalized mean things students and parents did and as a result, used lots of vinegar during those first few years. These are not my proudest moments, but they helped me grow and learn that vinegar doesn’t work.

Over the course of my teaching career, this old adage made perfect sense as I began to apply it to all students.  As educators, we must understand that we will encounter many hurting students and adults. People who are hurting are not actually mad at you, but they may take their anger out on you.  Students will come to school mad at their parents, mad at the bus driver, mad at the world and walk into your classroom and take it out on you.  You were not aware they had an argument with their mother that morning. You didn’t know their girlfriend just broke up with them. Their issue often has nothing to do with you, but you get to be the lucky one to experience their anger.

The key here is to respond with honey.

When students are rude, disrespectful or break the rules, they still need to be held accountable. But we can give students consequences with honey. We don’t have to yell, give harsh punishments, or fight battles in anger.   We can discipline students and show them that we still love them. We can love them even when they make mistakes.

If we are going to help children who are hurting, we must learn the principle of being kind to others even when they are not kind to us.  We must understand that the kids who need the most love and kindness shown to them, will ask for it in the most unloving ways.

Yes, there will still be moments when you will be frustrated or angry.   But don’t let others attitudes, negativity, or anger, impact your response. You can still respond with kindness.

So the next time you are offended, take a deep breath and ask yourself……

  • What will you use to respond to an angry student? Honey or Vinegar
  • What are you using for classroom management? Honey or Vinegar
  • What are you taking to the staff meeting? Honey or Vinegar
  • What will you bring to the conversation with a parent? Honey or Vinegar
  • What are sprinkling in the hallway or cafeteria when you’re on duty? Honey or Vinegar

Try carrying honey everywhere you go this week and watch how many students you just might catch.  

What’s Your Vision For 2018

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Have you thought about your life now and examined your previous thoughts and beliefs over the years? Do they align? Did your expectations come true?

I believe we become what we constantly think about from our own personal thoughts. There are successful people who credit visualizing their goals to help their dreams become a reality.  For example, Jim Carrey wrote himself a check that he carried in his wallet for $10 million for “acting services rendered,” and dated it with the year 1994. In 1994, Carrey was paid exactly 10 million dollars for his role in the movie Dumb and Dumber. Actors Will Smith and athlete Lindsey Vonn are also examples of successful people who understand the power of visualizing what they want before achieving it.  Ellen DeGeneres also used a vision board to actualize her dream of appearing on the cover of “O!” magazine with Oprah Winfrey

It’s important to teach our students about the power of their thoughts, words, and actions. We must teach them to have a vision for their lives and to think and speak about their goals. One of my favorite activities to do with students is to have them create personal vision boards. A vision board is a visual representation or collage of your goals, dreams, and aspirations.  

Yes, it will be messy and chaotic.

Yes, you will have little magazine clips all over your floor.

Yes, there will be glue everywhere.

However, it will be worth it!

 

What you will need:

  • Vision Board Planning Worksheet (Download for Free)
  • Construction Paper (any size)
  • Magazines, clip art, or pictures that represent your goals or vision for your future
  • Scissors
  • Markers
  • Glue, glue stick or tape

Allow students 1-2 days of class time to plan their vision board, find pictures, and glue the pictures on construction paper. You can download my Vision Board Planning Worksheet to help students get started.  Have students insert a picture or their name near the center of their vision board. Allow students time to finish their boards at home if needed.  

Once the project is finished, students should explain their goals and vision boards to their peers. Allowing students to hear each other’s goals enables them to hold each other accountable, be inspired, and learn from each other.  

Hang students vision boards on your classroom walls where students can easily see them. It’s important to keep what they want to accomplish in front of them as a constant reminder of what they are working towards. It helps keep students motivated and focused toward their goals.  

I also create a vision board to show students that I am still setting goals and creating a vision for my future.

Here is a picture of the last vision board I created.  Some numbers and symbols are symbolic to me such as “the microphone” or the “number 4.” There are pictures that symbolize activities I want to learn or do. I want to learn how to shag dance, go swimming with dolphins, try snorkeling, and run a 5K. Some pictures represent places I want to travel. Other words and pictures represent things I value and serve as a reminder of how I’m spending my time.The words “be present” reminds me to put the phone down, close the computer, turn the TV off and simply enjoy the present moment in life.  

Throughout the year students should continue to reflect on their vision boards. Discuss with students the importance of having a vision and goal for their future. Continue to give students examples of people who utilized vision boards and goal setting to help their dreams become a reality. Remind students that Katy Perry was once given this same assignment by her 4th-grade teacher. When Katy was 9, Selena had just won a Grammy Award, so she used the photo of the Latin singer holding her Grammy on her vision board.  Fifteen years later, Katy was nominated for her first Grammy Award.

At the end of the school year give students their vision boards and encourage them to hang them in their rooms or on their refrigerator at home.  Discuss with students the importance of going back to their vision board and revising them overtime.

Remind them to “create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe. ” ~Oprah Winfrey