Don’t Be Afraid To Share Your Mistakes

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This past week I was reminded of a saying I told my students almost daily… “choices have consequences.” I had to pay a fine for a red light I ran a few weeks ago. I don’t recall running the red light, but they caught me on camera, so apparently, I did. I made a mistake, and it had a consequence. It doesn’t make me a bad person; it simply means I made an error in judgment.

Teachers. Make. Mistakes.

But more importantly, we need to let our students know we aren’t perfect. We aren’t robots…we are human. I call many of my mistakes my “God Whispers” to do better. This mistake was a huge “God Whisper.” The fact that I don’t remember running the red light says I’m not focused while driving. I’m in too much of a hurry. Maybe I was on my cell phone and not paying attention. Perhaps my mind was preoccupied with all the “things” I had to do that day.

This mistake prompts me to slow down, pay more attention, and get focused. It could have cost my life or injured someone else’s from my careless judgments. I am blessed that my only consequence was a $50 fine. Learning from this fault is a time for me to reflect and alter my actions.

I can also help my students by sharing my mistake. This is a lesson that needs to be shared. This will enable students to understand the dangers in what I did, and how I made plans to change my behavior.

I can remember a time when I hated if a student saw me making a mistake. I took pride in the fact that students thought I had it “all-together.” I feared admitting my failures would make me appear weak. However, trying to be the “perfect” teacher to my students became stressful because I wasn’t being authentic and truthful. When I realized I didn’t have to be perfect, it helped build trust in my classroom because students understood I was human and honest.

Over time my students learned that sometimes Ms. Knox has to apologize. Ms. Knox has to take ownership for her actions. Sometimes Ms. Knox needs help from others. Admitting and correcting my mistakes established a culture where my students respected me more. It provided an atmosphere where we could learn together from each other and not judge each other because of our mistakes.

Many of our students haven’t developed the mindset that mistakes can be useful learning tools. The majority of students internalize their mistakes emotionally rather than thinking about them rationally as a teachable moment. Students face a great deal of peer pressure to always look “smart or cool.” If they get a bad grade, then many students will try to hide it. If you’re a middle school teacher, you know the pressure for “perfection” or “fitting in” is even greater during the teenage years. Failures at this age especially make students feel emotionally “shameful, embarrassed, and fearful.” Yet, it’s those mistakes that we want to help students to learn to embrace and learn from. That bad grade, an argument with a friend, or an office referral can be an important lesson if students reflect and learn from it.

We have to change our students’ mindsets on the way they view mistakes. I love education and I love teaching. But perhaps the best teacher is “a mistake.” One of my favorite quotes is… “Your best teacher is your last mistake” by Ralph Nader. Imagine a classroom of students who are consistently focused on how they can improve and grow from their mistakes. This is the classroom that embraces a “growth mindset.”

Letting students see your mistakes and failures is okay. It lets them know how you grow and learn too. Modeling your thinking processes about mistakes and the growth process helps students to do the same. We want students to be conscious individuals who are capable of recognizing when they need to reflect on their decisions and make wiser choices.

If you made mistakes this week, let your students know. If your students have made mistakes week…let them know you’re there to help them learn and grow from it. Take this week to embrace the mistakes…learn, grow, and share them.

Do The Right Thing … Even When No One Is Looking

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I love thinking about my purpose in life. I think that’s why I appreciate mission statements and mottos. Having words to live my life by always keeps me focused on my purpose. A personal mission statement is on the wall in my house to remind my family of what we stand for and what we value. When we walk by it each day it’s a simple reminder that we will

“Live on Purpose” and “Believe There is Good in the World,” but most importantly we need to …”BE THE GOOD!”

The same is true for any school. Most schools develop a mission statement. It’s on their website, in their handbook and usually embedded in their school improvement plan.

Your school’s mission statement needs to be a constant reminder of how everyone should act based on their values. It’s a reference point and a reminder of what you stand for, for all to see. It tells everyone, “This is who we are, this is what we believe, and this is what we value.”

Many schools have mission statements that have no practical meaning to staff, students or parents. They are often unclear in stating what their school stands for and values. In other cases they are clear, but the actions of the staff and students don’t align with the school’s mission.

If no one knows or believes your mission statement, it is ineffective. To bring your school’s mission to life, all stakeholders have to live it and act upon it every day. You must embed it in the classroom, students lives, and the local community. Every decision the staff, students, and parents make should align with your mission.

One reason staff and students do not know, understand or act upon a school’s mission statement is because they have no voice in creating it. If you give students, teachers, and parents a chance to create, it they will take greater ownership of it. Schools without a mission statement should ask staff and students to list core values and beliefs they want the school to stand for. Have students and staff generate ideas and let all stakeholders vote on the mission. Students will be creative and rise to the challenge if you let them have a voice in the process. Allowing all stakeholders to have voice gives them greater ownership and will enable the vision to shape the culture of the school.

If you have a mission statement, but no one knows it, you must find a way to embed it in the culture of your school. Ask students and teachers if they believe and value it. You may find that you need to alter or completely change it based on the opinions of your students and staff.

Once you finalize your mission, students, teachers, and parents need to interact with it during daily activities. Allow opportunities for them to do quick writes about it in core academic subjects. Engage families in creating their mission statements and share them at school to express family values. Through this activity, students will make connections to the school’s mission and their personal families’ missions. There will likely be similarities and connections that can be made between the two that students can reflect on.

Another idea for enabling your mission to come to life is to create a mantra, motto or pledge that captures it in a few words for students and staff. Give staff and students opportunities to interact with it by creating hashtags, songs, pledges, etc. to continually remind and reinforce the values and beliefs.

One school that is living example of its mission is Union Academy, a K-12 school in Monroe, North Carolina. Their mission statement reads,

“Union Academy is a K-12 preparatory school dedicated to educating the whole child, providing challenging, high-quality instruction, strong character development in all of its students, and collaborative family and community involvement.”

They made character and community a vital part of their mission. They also captured their mission statement in a pledge that all teachers, students, and parents know and live by.

Their pledge is simple, yet profound…

“At Union Academy, we do the right thing even when no one is looking.”

Their pledge is easy for students, staff and community members to remember and encompasses what they value and believe. The staff, students, and parents at Union Academy all had a voice in creating it.  Therefore this philosophy of having good character and doing the right thing when no one is watching is embedded in their school’s climate and culture.

I too am often reminded of Union Academy pledge in my personal life when no one is watching me. You know… those little life moments when you are in the grocery store and decide you no longer want the sugar, but don’t feel like walking back to aisle six to put it back. It’s those quiet moments in a dressing room when no one is watching, and we all have decisions to make. Do you hang all the clothes up and put them back where they belong, or do you leave them hanging in the dressing room? Although no one is watching, it’s up to me to still do the right thing. It’s that point of reference and constant reminder that a successful mission statement will help shape and mold a positive climate and culture for your school.

The students at Union Academy can be seen helping each other, picking up trash, engaging in random acts of kindness, and simply being good citizens because they have developed intrinsic motivation to do the right thing. It’s built in their mission, and they understand what it means to live, breathe, and do it every day.

If you would like to change the climate of your school the first place to start will be your mission. It’s your foundation that supports and guides EVERYTHING else. A mission that comes to life will help your school have a positive climate and culture. It will be a constant reminder to students, staff, and parents of how we should think, act, and do.

Should you be successful, it will even permeate through the hearts and minds of visitors just like it did for me at Union Academy. I am always thankful for Union Academy’s mission and pledge that serves as a constant reminder to me to “Do the right thing even when no one is looking!”

 

The Day My Mama Let Me Shave My Legs

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I vividly remember the day my mama let me shave my legs. Most girls may not remember this day, but it’s a day I will never forget. I came home from school crying and hurt because I was bullied at school. I now understand, as a parent you never want to see your child hurt and when they are you want to “fix it.” This is what my mom did for me. She tried to fix my problem by allowing me to do something I had waited on forever. She tried to take away the hurt and pain by turning my focus to something positive.

This day still sticks in my memory over 20 years later. I can still remember the people. I can still hear the words they said. It has never left me. You may recall a similar moment from your own school experience. You may be a parent right now struggling to help your child cope with the same hurt.

October is national bullying prevention awareness month. This is a time to raise awareness because of the prevalence of bullying in our schools today. It has taken on new forms in recent years and goes beyond beating someone up in the bathroom or taking their lunch in the cafeteria. It no longer just occurs at school and is often a premeditated choice. It is prevalent in sports, TV, cell phones, the internet, and social media. Most often bullying occurs through the power of words that demean, hurt, or sabotage others.

Bullying is social cancer with dramatic short and long-term effects on our youth. In, my home state, North Carolina 53% of high school students reported being a witness to bullying in their school. 16% of students reported being bullied on school property, and 12% reported being the victim of electronic bullying. (NC at Risk Behavior Survey, 2015)

Although my experience with bullying is still very memorable to me, it was short lived and the impact on my school experience was minimal. However, this is not the case for many children. Many students struggle with cutting themselves, eating disorders, skipping school, isolation, insecurity, depression, self-medicating, and develop poor academic performance because of bullying. Tragically, a few students contemplate taking their own life. 12% of NC high school students considered attempting suicide in the past 12 months, and this number increased to 47% for students who identified as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. (NC at Risk Behavior Survey, 2015) I’m not equating bullying to be solely responsible for thoughts of suicide, but it can be a contributing factor we need to consider.

Every child deserves a safe environment where he or she can learn and achieve. Students cannot learn in situations where they are fearful, embarrassed, or unsafe. While, there are many “anti-bullying” programs available, research shows these do little to have a lasting impact for all schools.

The first step in solving the issue is to understand if bullying is a problem in your school. You can easily attain this information from anonymous student surveys. The students will tell you… if you ask. You can also survey teachers and parents to triangulate the data about the prevalence and impact of bullying.

You can access FREE surveys for your students at Bringing Learning To Life.

After data is collected, you can now begin preventive measures based on the results. Create focus groups with a diverse group of staff and students to analyze the results. Students must be a vital part of the focus groups. We must stop trying to solve student problems without the voice of students. Our youth need to have a voice in setting goals, brainstorming ideas, and identifying solutions to bullying. This gives them an excellent opportunity to show leadership and gain practice solving problems.

If you find through your data that bullying is an issue, you need to target where and when it’s happening. Engage in dialogue with students to identify the “hot-times” and “hot-spots” it occurs. Through your focus groups, you can begin establishing what your school will stand for and why good character is important. Allow students to create clear guidelines for what bullying looks like and how they will be able to recognize it. It is the students who will be able to gain buy-in from other students to change school culture.

After you have conducted focus groups with students and staff based on the data, you need to share the results of the data and solutions with all staff, students, and parents. All stakeholders need to know how to respond and where to report it when they witness bullying. The staff, students, and parents must also clearly understand what it is and what it is not to ensure bullying behaviors are not ignored in the future. Everyone should be empowered to consistently show character, empathy, and know how to respond to bullying.

This is a process that won’t happen overnight, but if you take the first steps, you will have a good foundation. Remember new behaviors and habits take time to teach and practice consistently. There is not a “one size fits all” bullying prevention program that produces proven results for every school. Each school is different and, you must analyze the data of your school to identify the problems and plan solutions. Most importantly we have to let students be the voice for changing their school climate and culture.

Source: NC YRBS Survey Data

 

Why You Want "Crickets" in Your Classroom

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My classroom was always noisy. I was “the teacher” no one wanted to teach beside because they could guarantee one thing… NOISE! I loved the sound of students engaging with each other, talking out problems, and delving into the history of the past.

As my students would say, Ms. Knox’s classroom would never hear “crickets.” But perhaps sometimes it was too noisy. In recent years, I understand that I need to embrace “the crickets.”

I realize now; I provided little opportunities for silence in my classroom. Complete silence often made me nervous. A social gathering at my house would involve a TV or radio playing in the background. Even during moments alone, I would find myself turning on the TV, not to watch it, but because I was comforted by the background noise.

I’m not sure when I became so uncomfortable with silence. Maybe, I associated silence with punishment. Perhaps it was because I grew up in a large family where the noise was inevitable and apart of our family culture.

Maybe it’s a 21st-century social construct that I built during my college years, due to increasing technology. When I sent a text or an email, I constantly checked my phone for a response. I hated waiting for the reply and didn’t like delayed responses or silence. Elevators made me uncomfortable because it meant people packed together in long periods of silence. When I engaged in conversations with people, I wanted immediate responses. The awkward silence of looking at others and simply “waiting” made me uneasy.

What I begin to realize is that my social norms made “silence” an awkward in my classroom. This is unfortunate because I now understand that silence is one of the most powerful and overlooked tools educators can use in the classroom.

Students need silent spaces to consider, reflect, journal and process their thoughts before speaking. While many students are external thinkers and can answer “on the fly,” the majority of students are internal processors. I often gave students only 1 or 2 seconds of wait time when asking for a response. If within this timeframe the student didn’t answer, I assumed they didn’t know.

The silence of waiting for students to respond to my questions was filled by me answering my own question or re-phrasing the question that rarely needed rephrasing. Many times, I moved to another student to help out, because I was so uncomfortable with the awkward silence of waiting on a response.

As I have reflected and matured over the years, I realize I need to embrace the “awkward silence.” Silence means people are “reasoning.” People need time to process information, and when we give them time, their responses are often more thoughtful and substantial. Everyone can not listen, process, and express themselves at the same speed. Pauses and wait time are necessary to allow both internal and external thinkers to develop their thoughts. If you find yourself as uncomfortable with silence as I was in the classroom, I urge you to reflect on the time you allow students space and time to think in silence.

The following strategies can help you bring back “the crickets” in your classroom that will allow students a space to think.

  • Require students to journal silently before giving them time to answer aloud in small or whole group discussions. Journals make students’ learning visible by providing a space for students to share thoughts, feelings, and questions. This time will allow them to sharpen their ability to examine their own ideas before making statements aloud. Students may also find that writing in silence helps them process ideas, ask questions, and deepen their understandings.
  • Don’t call students names before you ask a question aloud. This shuts down other students from answering. Ask the question and give wait time for students to process before calling on students. Allow 10 seconds of wait time when you ask for a response from students. This may involve you having to count to 10 in your head to make you feel less awkward. Let the crickets chirp for at least 10 seconds, and take note of what happens.

In the last year, I’ve come to embrace “the crickets” in my life. I disconnected my cable. I no longer check my phone and email 24/7. Meditating and taking time to journal at night are my favorite silent activities. I give people time to process. I let students know I am going to give them time to think before requiring them to answer. I love sitting in silence. I realized there are insights and emotions that I can find in no other way, than within silence. I encourage you to not only embrace the silence in your classroom, but in your own lives as well.

Allow time before you speak to reflect on what others have said. Journal in silence. Take time to embrace “the crickets” for yourself. Embracing the silence will help you and your students find your most authentic and powerful voice!