How to Build Trust in Your Classroom to have Conversations That Matter

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Let’s face it. Our society remains divided over ongoing issues of racial justice, a divisive presidential election, and tragic incidents of violence. As a result, teachers are rightly concerned about their classroom climate and culture. What’s heard in the news, homes, and our communities translates into the classroom.

Our schools should be spaces where students with different points of view can learn to exchange ideas and communicate respectfully. 
 It is important that we create spaces in our schools, where students can talk about issues that matter to them. Many students can easily voice their opinions when they’re in like-minded company. However, they struggle to share their views with those whose values and beliefs differ.

By engaging in difficult conversations, students learn how to become critical thinkers, understand empathy, and gain a sense of civic responsibility. Our schools are fostering the next generation of citizens, and they need to model and practice constructive civil discourse. 
 Students need to practice expressing opinions while creating space for differing viewpoints. Students also need to understand they can engage in meaningful dialogue even when they don’t have all the information.

The question for many teachers is: How can we create classroom environments built on trust? Trust, so that students feel comfortable listening to those who hold different beliefs from their own. Trust that encourages students to understand diverse points of view and enables our students to respectfully disagree.

The first step in developing a community of trust and respect in your classroom is through a classroom contract. By this point in the year, you already have classroom rules, procedures, and norms for respect and understanding. However, a specific set of norms are needed for how students manage difficult conversations or handle conflict. Contracts or norms will help give students a voice in creating the climate of your class and build a mutual environment of trust and respect. 
 As a contract is created by your class, I would offer the following questions to have your students consider:

  • How would you like to be treated in our community?
  • How are we going to listen to each other?
  • What can we do to ensure everyone feels comfortable to speak?
  • How are we going to handle it if our feelings are hurt?
  • How are we going to make sure everyone’s voice is heard?
  • How are we going to handle violations of the contract?

 

I would recommend that students first reflect silently on the questions. Then, put students in groups of 4-5 and decide on mutual agreements as a group. Next, allow the groups to share out and discuss as a class until everyone agrees and reaches a consensus.

As your students are creating norms for civil discourse, I would offer the following suggestions:

Agree to make “I” statements acknowledging others opinions. (i.e. “I agree with _____ and I would also add ____.” or “I understand that you believe____, but I disagree because of ___.”)

Require each student to have a journal. During class discussions, encourage students to jot down their ideas or thoughts in their journal. If time is limited, this is a great way for a student to still express their thoughts. This is especially important if students do not yet feel comfortable expressing themselves aloud to the entire class. Students can share their comments with the teacher in private and find a safe way to share their ideas. When others help you gain new ideas or help your opinions evolve, acknowledge it. (i.e. “That’s interesting…..I had never considered that before,” or “Thank you for helping me to see a new perspective.”

Ask questions for greater clarification. (i.e. “I’m wondering…”)

You will have to remind students, “This is OUR classroom,” so we are going to decide how to treat each other and you are going to help each other follow what we decide.

Post the contract and have all students sign it. Hold students accountable for the agreements and redirect students who may break it. Encourage students to hold each other accountable so they are self-managing their own behavior. 
 Let students know, if they can self-manage their own behavior, then you do not have to get involved and there will be no consequences!

If students can do this in your classroom, they will replicate this in other spaces within the school. It is then that students will practice the civic dispositions, both in and out of your classroom, that will foster their ability to be thoughtful, engaged and productive citizens.

 

What Would You Do If It Were You?

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In our society today, it’s hard to watch the news or look at social media without experiencing controversy and divisiveness.

I remember, in high school and college, I was always quick to offer my opinions and judgments of people who didn’t share my same views. As I began my teaching career, I learned how to listen more to others because I refrained from sharing my values and beliefs with my students. I never wanted my views to influence them or prohibit them from being outspoken. This taught me how to become a better listener, but I still struggled with refraining from judging others who didn’t share my same beliefs. That was until a brave student taught me a valuable life lesson to be more understanding and less judgmental of others.

I remember this experience like it was yesterday. My students were studying immigration. We compared immigration trends throughout history to today. I allowed students to understand multiple perspectives on the debates on immigration throughout history. I also encouraged students to talk with their family and community members about the issue. After studying the topic and interviewing family members, we held a Socratic seminar on how the United States should handle immigration in our society today. My students’ perspectives on the issue ranged from one end of the spectrum to the other. It was an excellent opportunity for students to understand a variety of viewpoints on one topic that has affected our country since its foundation.

The day after our class discussion, I found a six-page later on my desk. It was from the sweetest, quietest girl in my class. She always did her work. She always complied with whatever I asked, and she made fast friends with everyone.

The first sentence read…”Ms. Knox, I am an illegal immigrant, please don’t tell anyone.”

My first reaction was one of shock. As a teacher, I was never privy to know if students are legal citizens. It’s not something you questioned.

I then read this child’s heart-wrenching story of her journey to the United States. Her letter gave me background of her life in Honduras. She explained the hardships of having no transportation and having to walk everywhere she went. She told how she had to find her food, and she never knew where her next meal would come from. She recounted fearing for her life because of gang violence walking to and from school each day. I could not fathom her life experiences as I was reading her letter.

As tears ran down my face, I continued to read her story. She stated how she lived with a lady in California who her mother paid to bring her into the United States. Her mother made this decision because she wanted a better life for her daughter. She thought the lady was the hope her children needed for a better future. America was the only hope she had for her children, even if it meant she would never see them again. However, this lady abused and nearly starved her to death. At one point during the journey, she became separated from her sister and didn’t know if she was still alive.

This child traveled from California to NC to live with another family and still remained separated from much of her family. As I neared the end of the letter this quiet, sweet little girl asked me a question that would forever make me think of the way I judged other people and situations. She asked simply … “What would you do if it were you?”

I thought about my family and how close I am to each of them. I can drive an hour or pick up the phone and be in my family’s presence or hear their voice. I’ve never experienced hunger pains, separation from family, or feared for my safety. I’ve never lived with strangers, experienced abuse, or understood how it feels to send a child away for the opportunity of a better life.

Sometimes children are the best teachers. This one student taught me lifelong lessons in this letter that ended with a simple question.

I learned…

  • To never assume I know someone’s story. Opinions are usually formed because of our own lived experiences.
  • To listen more and ask questions for understanding.
  • To always reflect an ask “What would you do if it were you?”

Teachers, I hope you will apply this same lesson for students in your classroom. Our students are still figuring out who they are and their values and beliefs. Create spaces in your classroom where you can get to know your students and their stories. Engage in activities and assignments that enable students to develop a deeper understanding of their peers. The more we create spaces for dialogue, sharing, and understanding the more we will realize we are all more alike than we are different. It is in this way that we can seek to understand the lived experiences of others, which shaped and molded them into who they are. It is also an opportunity for us to all stop, press pause, and ask ourselves…

What you would you do if it were you?

Do This One Thing Today

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Imagine someone approaches and offers you a bracelet that says, “I Make a Difference What would you say? How would you feel?

That is what a Vicki Simmons, a teacher at Hayne’s Inman-Education Center in North Carolina, did for me. She helped me realize by this simple gesture how I made a positive difference in her life. Yet, it was what she did next that was even more worthwhile.

Vicki left another bracelet on my desk with a note saying, “Give this to someone who makes a difference in your life.” This prompted me to reflect on individuals who have impacted my life. I also began to question whether I ever told them how they make a difference.

I first thought of my family. I have a large family that contributes to my life in unique and meaningful ways. Next, I considered close friends and teachers and how they motivated me to achieve my dreams. I hope my family, friends, and former teachers know the incredible difference they’ve made in my life. There are also other individuals who are inspirational and offer an abundance of encouragement. I don’t believe they know how much their presence and words mean during trying times. I need to tell them. This week, I will make time to ensure they understand the difference their actions have made in my life.

I also thought of my students. You know…those students who teach you just as much as you teach them. There are certain students who leave a mark on your life and make all the difference. Many of my students help open my eyes to different perspectives and new ideas. I can still remember the look on one of my students’ faces when I simply let her know how much I appreciated teaching her. Those students who always help you pass out papers, help others self-manage their behavior or the ones you can count on to be leaders need to know you appreciate them. Let your students know the difference they make in your class and in your life.

As a teacher, I hope you understand that you make a difference every day in the life of a child. Students will not always say how you influence them. For some, you may never know your impact. I encourage you to share this opportunity with your students. Help students to understand and acknowledge when they impact the lives of others in positive ways. I urge you to ask students to also reflect on the people that have changed their lives. Invite them to write letters or make video messages for the people in their lives who encourage and motivate them. Hold a class event, and let students write a speech about how the person has impacted their lives. Invite the person to the event, and allow the students to acknowledge and thank them in front of their peers.

Whether you are a cashier, nurse, police officer, pastor, teacher, stay at home mom, a bus driver, or CEO, you can make a positive difference in the lives of others. Regardless of our career paths, we all interact with others each day and can make a powerful impact. Is there someone in your life who made all the difference and has no idea? Who, in your life, deserves an “I Make a Difference” bracelet? If you can’t give them a bracelet, there are simple things you can do to show your gratitude. You could write them a letter, send them a text, or pick up the phone and tell them. An idea might be to share it on social media or create a video message to share with others. Whatever you do… don’t wait to let the people in your life know how they have impacted you. I hope you will take time to do this one thing today.